7 reasons we tell ourselves of why we can’t be a priority

Thank you for all of you who were understanding and sent well wishes last night. I appreciate all the love and support each one of you continues to show me regarding my blog and me as a person.

I debated on just sucking it up and typing up a quick blog just to say I wrote it last night. Due to writing only twice a week, the importance of remaining consistent is huge. However, I don’t write to just write. I write to put out great content so that all of you who follow have something of substance to read. I write so that others can connect with me so they don’t feel alone. I write so that others can hear something uplifting and apply it in their lives. I write so that I can make a difference in this world. I don’t write just to check off a box on Tuesday and Saturday.

So I decided to send out a post apologizing and postponing it for a night. I decided that the content was more important, that my followers were more important, but more importantly, that I was more important. I have to constantly remind myself that if I don’t take care of me, no one else can. Sure others can make sure I am ok, check in with me when I’m having a hard time, lend a shoulder when I need to cry, but to really take care of me, requires one thing, me.

I have come up with every excuse in the book before as to why I shouldn’t put myself first, just like I’m sure you have too. Some frequent fliers are:

  1. People are depending one me. Whether that means family, friends or co-workers, others needs become more important than your own. You justify saying just this once, or after I complete it, than I’ll take care of myself. This is seen so many times when people become sick and refuse to call out sick. I once had a supervisor who said you are of no value sick here. You not only prolong getting back to 100% which is where we need you to operate out of, but you run the chance of effecting others by passing your sickness to them. So not only are you now taking longer to get better, but others are now out of commission as well. It is so true. Yes people depend on you, but they depend on the complete version of you.
  2. I don’t have time. It’s really impossible not to have time when you really think about it but it is another common reason why people refuse to take care of themselves. They think they do not have time. They have deadlines they need to meet, they have too much going on, they have commitments they have to fulfill, life is just too busy to make sure they are okay. Everyone has time, they just have to make it. It’s not always easy making time, but it is there. 24 hours of it at a time.
  3. I don’t deserve it. This can also take the form of ‘I deserve it‘. Whether you say you don’t deserve taking care of yourself or you are stating you deserve whatever it is that came your way to weigh you down, you are saying the same thing- I am not good enough. You believe you are not good enough to put yourself first and so you don’t. You will even go to great lengths to put a stranger or even an enemy before your own needs.
  4. I will after (insert event/thing) happens. You know when everything finally falls into place or when things slow down, it’ll be the perfect time to take care of yourself. It’s never the right time. There is always something else that must be done first and the stars never truly just align. There is no perfect time. There will always be something that needs to be done and you’ll be waiting forever.
  5. I don’t know how. Everyone can learn how, some just really like to stay in familiar territory and not work outside of their comfort zone. Saying you cant do something is easier then trying something new. People will say, ‘I don’t know how to meditate,’ or ‘I don’t know how to sit still long enough.’ Anyone can learn those things, you just have to be willing to try.
  6. I try but something always comes up. The kids didn’t go to bed as planned. I got caught up at work later then expected. I ran out of hours in the day. This is where people often insert Murphy’s law as there is always a reason of why they can’t take care of themselves. They always plan on it, but end up breaking their promise to themselves because something always trumps them.
  7. I will tomorrow. If you are a procrastinator, here is your reason. Everything and I mean everything, is always taking place tomorrow. I bet if you wrote down everything you have committed to for tomorrow, you would be looking at a list requiring 38 hours, 14 hours over any given day.

Which one do you often use for your reason of why you can’t come first? I am sure you have a favorite, just like I do. Maybe it isn’t listed but you know it. We all have reasons of why we won’t and don’t put ourselves first. And it is such a shame. No one should ever doubt their value enough that they don’t grant themselves some TLC. No one should ever wait until the perfect time or after they have taken care of everyone else.

So I recognized that I wasn’t putting myself first, that I was putting ahead all those that look forward to my blog every Saturday night. And why that is great and makes me a successful business owner and blogger, it doesn’t always benefit me. Sometimes we do have to put our needs aside for a second but not when our wellness tank is on empty. So I chose to pick me first last night and remind myself that I have to be a priority in this crazy life we all live. Like I said, if you don’t take care of yourself, no one can. Make yourself a #1 priority too!


Toodles, Becca Jane 🙂

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